Or more accurately: How to eat to the point of satisfaction.
One reason you are overeating could be that you are focusing a great deal on overeating. Let me explain.
In my client sessions, I have noticed that most people have goals such as “to stop uncontrolled eating, to overcome my food addiction, to stop eating sugar, to reduce my body fat, to not feel drained, to stop emotional eating, to lose weight”.
What’s interesting to notice is the language being used to describe the desire: most of what I hear from people is a focus on what they DON’T want. Psychological experts agree that the language we use directly affects our actual behavior through our subconscious mind—we get more of what we focus on. So if we are consistently focusing on the desire to “stop overeating”…well, then we are still focusing on overeating. Even though we had put the word “stop” in there—our subconscious brain only hears the “overeating”. Therefore, by focusing on overeating, we find we are STILL overeating. The alternate approach is to focus on what you actually want. In this case, it would be “to eat until my body is satisfied.”
Below are some common goals people have around their eating and food. Notice how the first focuses on the negative, on what one doesn’t want, and then the second is the actual desire. Read these out loud, pausing between the two forms, and see what you notice about the motivation level you feel when making the statements.
“To lose weight”………..“To be lean, slender and fit”
“ To prevent weight gain…………“To maintain my weight”
“To reduce my sugar intake”………….“To choose clean, whole foods”
“To stop emotional eating”………..“To find ways to cope with my emotions in productive and healthy ways”
“To go on a diet”……….”To reach my ideal weight in an intuitive way”
“To stop obsessing about food”……….“To have peace about food”
“Gain control of my uncontrolled eating”……“Learn what my body really is hungry for and satisfy the true hunger”
“Stop eating when anxious”…….“Find ways to relax, to let go, to find peace”
“Avoid situations where I might binge”………“Learn to feel, tolerate and accept my emotions in any situation”
What are some things you find challenging in your behaviors and relationship to food?
Take a moment and write down what it is you truly WANT rather than what you don’t want—or write what you don’t want and then find the positive turnaround—and let this guide you to making steps towards achieving the result. Remember, “what we focus on expands and what we resist persists”. Make a choice to focus on the positive.
An additional exercise is to get super clear on WHY you want to reach the goal—I write more about that here.
While you’re at it, choose to love your body, and it will love you back
In my upcoming blog posts and Mindful Eating groups, we will dive deeper into the various reasons for overeating, food addiction, and how to heal your relationship to food. Stay tuned!
xo,
Meredith
Doing this now…… thanks for the insight and inspiration!